i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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