i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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