Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
