dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
