Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize