I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
