Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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