I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
