if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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