you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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