No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
