last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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