I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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