Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
