Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Someone signed my nipple.
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