Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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