I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We have started to decorate penises.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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