yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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