Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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