I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
