New invention idea: vibrating tampons
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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