youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
