Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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