Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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