I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Randomize
