There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
