do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
