Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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