your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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