My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
