So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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