Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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