Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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