I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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