It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize