wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
