Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
