You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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