so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
