Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
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