the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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