is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
