the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
