Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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