I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
