Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
