office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
