i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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