dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
