this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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