if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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