About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
