i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize