Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
