What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How naked do you want me to be?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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