I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The best revenge is premature balding
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
