half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
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