my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
