They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
