Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
