covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
