I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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