Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
