Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
