Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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